The idea is to write it so that people read it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

Archive for the ‘Dreamworks’ Category

I feel so lucky


They are my family – We have been together since then, and for as long as times allow. We faced all hardships and laughter together. We fight our way through medicine in the hope of becoming a good doctor

My roommates – Awe, Din, Fared.. They are more than just friends.. We are siblings.. They really have perfected my life being a medical student

Maybe I’m not that lucky to be compared to anyone else but still, I feel lucky to myself and I am

Diploma in Pharmacy - times when all great things happened. Where everything seems to be so amazing

grateful to that.

I’m not born to be a genius like most of my friends, but I have guts in pursuing my dreams.

I’m not born to be that smart, but I have reached a certain level of curiosity which makes me never bored learning new things.

Apart from that, for so long I have realized that my life is not that beautiful or amazing or anything that you may put it, but still, I do realize most of the times, most of the times when I feel sad, God always sends me someone for me to rely on. I just don’t know how much friends have perfected my life.

I have lost so many things in life, I’ve lost something important that most of us couldn’t live without, but then again, I never walk alone.

For that reason, I always feel so lucky to be the way I am now =)


Burdens – What if I couldn’t get through them?

What if everything turns out ugly?

It has been a while since the last time I really put my effort in writing an article in my blog. Actually, times are just too packed since I’ve entered the Medical School.

I love to write – that is for sure. Since I really don’t know how to express my feeling through conversation, so words are the best way for me to put everything in.

I’ve been enjoying every second in every day of life being a full-time medical student. Since childhood I’ve been looking for my purpose of being a human being – more or less. After so long I’ve been discovering my place in this world, only now I’ve found it among doctors. It’s not that easy to search reasons for being alive; cause I’m certain with the fact that most people I’ve met, they don’t even know who they are.

So, after half a year being a medical student (not a long time perhaps), only now I know, how much things I have to handle starting from now on. It is so elevating being a medical student; I’ve learnt from friends I’ve met, Doctors who inspired me, knowledges that captivate me yeah pretty much all of them

But, sometimes there’s thing come out off my mind thinking that these humble hands will be the hands that will be saving lives (under Allah will).

What if my patient dies because of me?

What if I didn’t give my best in saving lives?

What if I miss my chance to save lives?

What if I break hearts of their love ones?

What if I fail in giving people new hopes like I promised to?

What if everything turns out ugly; I couldn’t even forgive myself

We learn from mistakes, and we take blame on that and try to change for the better

But this is about life

It’s not about being failed in the exam

Nor doing bad to friends

It is about LIFE.. more than anything else

I just don’t know how much things will drop upon me

The only thing I could hope for is that my shoulder is strong enough to bear burdens that I will be facing during my entire career of being a Doctor one day

May guidance from Him leads my way

Why it has to be “Oncologist”?

You are thinking of doing your specialist after this? Yes Dr, I would like to do so, obviously the route is still farther ahead, but I do have in mind to do specialisation after this MBBS. In what field Zaid? Oncologist Dr. Owh, it is hard, honestly it is one of the hardest fields in medicine. So, would you like to tell me why it has to be oncologist?

Do you know that how many cancer patients are able to survive in their battle against this cruel disease? Do you know how much it suffers the patient; even the strongest man standing will fall on his knees by cancer in a split of a second? Do you know how much this disease has claimed million lives and the number is still counting until today? Do you ever realise that there is no absolute therapy to cure this disease? Have you ever ask yourself how does people with cancer went thru their days with hope and courage? Have you ever put yourself in their shoes, trying to feel and live like they live every day and night? We face death even before we see it. We know that the patient would die even how hard you have tried and how hard the patient fight to win over the battle. So why you choose this path?

Cause we can’t lose hope. We can’t never lose hope, even the world is torn apart, we can’t lose hope. If the cancer patient can still standing fighting for their lives every day, why should we ever walked away? It is not only about treating or healing the cancer, but it is about hope that we put in it. It is not about whether we can or we cannot, but it is about how we do it, how we give chance for them to believe there’s still life despite of the cruelty that is eating them day and night.  Dr, I do strongly believe in a second chance. And I do also believe miracles are there for us to grab. To make them believe that life is a journey, regardless long or short, moments that we embraced are matter the most.

We believe in every hope that we have

 Even if we have lost the battle, tears that will shed are not of guilty, but of love.

A night that I won’t forget

“Do you still mad at me?”
“Why should I mad at you mom? You never upset me, I went through lots of things, and I made it through at the end, it wont be happening without your constant support”.
“Do you mad at me stopping you from continuing your study in Japan?”
“Mom, it has already been a year since that, I never think about it, you are my Mom, you have the right to choose for me. I know you need me. Even though going to Japan was everything to me back then, when I sit back and think, everything comes with reason isn’t it? I wont be mad just because of this mom. I’m better than that”
“I’m proud to have you as my son. I just want to be with you, see you growing up, see you achieving your dreams, see you becoming a good man. I don’t want to lose you”
“You are not losing me mom, never at any moment you are going to lose me, cause I always be here for you. You are my everything, don’t you know that? Don’t think about this anymore k mom”
The boy did everything that he could in studying. He went through his third semester in diploma with lots of passion in it, because he knows; he wanted to be a doctor, just like what his mom dreams of. The night before final, he dropped his mom a call “Mom, tomorrow will be my first day of examination, I’m quite nervous. Tomorrow will be English paper”
“You don’t have to be nervous, I know my son very well, he worked hard. I miss you son”
“Mom, are you crying? I can hear you are crying? Mom tell me, what happened? Please mom, tell me”
“Its nothing, I just miss you. Do your best for tomorrow, focus on your study, that’s the only way you can change your life”
“I will mom, I will keep reminding myself that”
It was quite weird that night, the sky was raining heavily, like it was trying to tell him something would happen. The next morning, right after he performed his prayer, he got a call, from his sister “mom got a __________, she has been diagnosed since last week, get ready to go back home if anything happens” he didn’t reply anything, he didn’t talk, only tears went down the cheek and he immediately disconnected the call. “She has been keeping this for a week?” whispered him. He immediately called his best friends, and told them what happened. It was just an hour before the final started. His best friends persuaded him to take the paper and stop worrying about it for a while. He went to sit for the exam even though tears were shedding nonstop along the way. Since that day, each night he prays to God

“If it’s true, you created me, to face these challenges in life.. If it is true, You will never test Your servant if You know he couldn’t make it through, I’m begging for Your help, show me the way, make it easy for me to see the route You have destined for me to walk in. Light my way Allah, I am too hurt now, I’m hurt not because the tests You have given me, but I am too hurt knowing I’m going to face these tests alone. Show me Your mercy and love, show me that You are with me to show me the way, send me somebody for me to talk with, someone to listen to me or someone to show me the way. I know You have reasons in testing me, but show me at least a glimpse of those reasons, so that I know I’m doing the right thing. If my life is destined to be this hard, give me a chance to share it to people who is willing to listen, so that someday, they will learn to appreciate what you have given them. Help me Allah, You are the place for me to rely on when no one seems to understand this heart”

He finished the final exam, and went back home to accompany his mom for her first treatment. A few weeks after that, he got a call from his lecturer “Congratulation, you got 4.00 flat for this semester”. He broke into tears, His pray has been answered. Ever since best friends constantly support him, help and listen to him.
He takes away good things from you, but someday He will be giving back a better one. Sometimes we took lots of things for granted, that we tend to forget someone who close to us. But believe me, once we started to realize we will lose them, then we know why God sent them to us.

That’s why I would like to be a doctor

Life is nothing more than just a brittle, fragile glass that is waiting to break apart once we lost our control on it. Ambition is everyone mission in life. Something that we would like to become in the future. I got reasons why I’m eagerly wanted to pursue my childhood dream of becoming a doctor. I have lost so many things in life; something that I’d rather die to get them back to me. But yeah, sometimes we just have to accept the way life is meant to be. It doesn’t mean to give up on hope, but to accept reality and to give space for a whole new frontier in life. Since childhood, I hate to see people crying, being hurt or seeing people lose someone they love. I just can’t stand myself seeing people to be sad. Ironically, me myself is wrapped around the blanket of sadness in my whole life. I’ve lost my strength to move on since childhood; I’ve lost my sense of security long before I ever understand what life is, and I even lost my faith to believe what is best in me. No one knows how much it hurts me from the start, and how deep the scar as it wont heal. I create my own world, I choose my own path, I try to nurture my own feeling of happiness. I don’t want people to face what I’ve faced before, I just want to see smiles rather than tears. Life is not easy, but we can make it thru if we believe in who we are and work together, supporting each other, to bring our lives forward. Doctor gives a second chance. I do believe in a second chance. That’s why I would like to become a doctor; to give people any possible second chance. I know, I’ve been given a second chance by someone who believes in me, give me hope to continue to walk again, and never gave in. Thank you so much for those who believe in me.

I would like to give people a second chance

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