The idea is to write it so that people read it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

What if everything turns out ugly?

It has been a while since the last time I really put my effort in writing an article in my blog. Actually, times are just too packed since I’ve entered the Medical School.

I love to write – that is for sure. Since I really don’t know how to express my feeling through conversation, so words are the best way for me to put everything in.

I’ve been enjoying every second in every day of life being a full-time medical student. Since childhood I’ve been looking for my purpose of being a human being – more or less. After so long I’ve been discovering my place in this world, only now I’ve found it among doctors. It’s not that easy to search reasons for being alive; cause I’m certain with the fact that most people I’ve met, they don’t even know who they are.

So, after half a year being a medical student (not a long time perhaps), only now I know, how much things I have to handle starting from now on. It is so elevating being a medical student; I’ve learnt from friends I’ve met, Doctors who inspired me, knowledges that captivate me yeah pretty much all of them

But, sometimes there’s thing come out off my mind thinking that these humble hands will be the hands that will be saving lives (under Allah will).

What if my patient dies because of me?

What if I didn’t give my best in saving lives?

What if I miss my chance to save lives?

What if I break hearts of their love ones?

What if I fail in giving people new hopes like I promised to?

What if everything turns out ugly; I couldn’t even forgive myself

We learn from mistakes, and we take blame on that and try to change for the better

But this is about life

It’s not about being failed in the exam

Nor doing bad to friends

It is about LIFE.. more than anything else

I just don’t know how much things will drop upon me

The only thing I could hope for is that my shoulder is strong enough to bear burdens that I will be facing during my entire career of being a Doctor one day

May guidance from Him leads my way


I couldn’t believe myself, we have come to an end of 2010. To be truthful, I don’t know what I feel or what I supposed to feel right now; some kind of mixed up feelings perhaps. I am happy knowing that my tremendous years in the Med School is getting yeah more or less “shorter” for god sake, but then again I do feel sad to leave the moments I left behind in this year 2010.

It has been a great year for me, that is for sure. I’ve managed to end my loooooong, tiring, but yeah I could say it to be informative, enjoyable and one in a life time (that’s not the word; I know that lol) practical session at Tuanku Ja’afar Hospital, Seremban. It has been quite a while since the last day I walked out that creepy haunted hospital lol. I have met wonderful friends there, great pharmacist, great working hours not to mention how hectic life was at the Out Patient Department lol.  Life was great back then.

Not to forget how much I have put my effort in doing my final year research on chemotherapeutic agent; Epirubicin and Doxorubicin for breast cancer patient. It was so intense but yeah I worth every time I did the research cause every second of every day in my life, it will remind me how precious life is. I did my best, yeah to get an A for the research, and Alhamdulillah. I hope I have done something good to the Pharmaceutical Society here within Malaysia.

A DREAM COMES TRUE!! That’s the best words I could describe on how much I feel honored to be given a chance to pursue my dream (and obviously my mother’s dream) of becoming a doctor. I couldn’t believe myself I’ve been accepted to be one of UiTM medical students. Getting myself into MBBS is like everything to me back then. Now I have stepped myself a little further, and one day, with every hope and every dreams that I hold now,  could be a great Oncologist in the future.

I have met wonderful people, they are not just merely friends to me, they are my siblings. Even if they are not medical students, but to a farther extent they have perfected my life, cheer me up when the world seems so hard on me. I am glad to have them as my friends though. Awe, Farid and Din, terima kasih jadi kawan aku yang baik k (Aku tahu korang tak suka baca English2 ni, so aku tulis BM part ni =P) As time passes by, our friendship will never die~

Medical Life =____=”. kidding hahah I’ve been enjoying every single moment of it, yeah I love doing what I’m best with; reading books, lots of books. “Once you’ve entered into the medical school until the end of your life, you have instantly sacrificing your life for the sake of othes well being” quoted from Dr Abdul Onny. Yeah, that is true. Enter the class from 8am to 5pm, tests, labs, books, lectures, discussions, quizzes, you name it. But then again, by far, I never felt burden in doing it, like it has already been part of my life.

Convo!! I have finally been awarded with Vice Chancellery Award (Anugerah Naib Cancellor) for my performance in Diploma of Pharmacy. Alhamdulillah, I’ve got my chance seeing friends that I miss so much. 3 years of struggles finally I received my scroll.

Now it has come to an end. I know life is getting harder at front, challenges and hardships are the best part of all. I just don’t know what awaits me at the front, but yeah, we are born not to be a fortune teller or something, we are normal human beings; we fight, we live and we appreciate every moments we have now. We do our best, with the hope that every day, we push ourselves towards a better future. I do looking forward to have a year full with happiness and togetherness, looking forward to see my mom to become healthy like she used to be. What I hope is just, I will gain myself more meaning, so that I could define myself and my life, I could adjust myself and nurture my heart to be not just merely a doctor-to-be human being, but to be humane, to be obedient learner, to be a wonderful friend and yeah of cause to be a good son. With that, thank you for reading my blog =) Happy New Year guys!! May a year full with prosperity, success and love awaits all of you. Assalamualaikum

Life is great after all

To My Mother

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above, The angels, whispering to one another, Can find, among their burning terms of love, None so devotional as that of “Mother,”

Therefore by that dear name I long have called you—

You who are more than mother unto me,

And fill my heart of hearts, where hurtful life installed with you,

In setting my fragile spirit free.

My mother—my own mother, who faced thousands obstacles in life,

Is but the mother of myself; but you

Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,

And thus are dearer than the life I see now

by that infinity love you have given me

Is so dear that it captures my heart until the very end of time

My everything


Never give up

Never give up; light awaits us at the end of the route

There’s time when we feel so weak, so hopeless and useless.. The very moment when we feel only tears are the best things to have.. I know, we got problems, we face different kind of things in life.. But, just never give up.. No matter how hard it is, life is meant to be like that.. Life is nothing more than a battleground for us to endure, we fight for our lives, everyday every night.. Hope is there whenever you need it, but just most the times, we tend to forget about it… You can’t give up with your life just like that, you should embrace it instead… If you feel so hard, if you feel useless or hopeless in any way you may put it, just bear this in mind, keep going! keep going! don’t ever turn back… Even the route is so tough, so rigid and so unforgivable, keep moving on, cause belive me, light awaits you at the end of the route.. Don’t give up with your dreams, cause you might eventually realise, you share the same dreams with someone out there, someone who’s fighting their way thru delusion and disappointments, just to get what we have now.. Do your very best to fulfill every dreams you ever hope for, safe in the knowledge that once you achieved it, you also have fulfilled dreams of the unfortunates.. Just never give up, light always there at the end of route.. You just have believe in it.. One day you’ll find the way and you’ll feel “You have gotten thru everything, and eventually you are standing there so proud of yourself being able to stand over your fulfilled dreams“.

The Dawn of Syawal

Happy Aidilfitri to all my brothers and sisters across the globe

To all Muslims around the world, no matter who you are; where you live we are all the same – united under the same kalimah of Laillahaillallah… During this holy month of Ramadhan, with Syawal around the corner, I would like to wish all of you happy embracing the last pieces of Ramadhan and Happy Aidilfitri… May Allah grant upon us His everlasting mercy and gracious love during the dawn of Syawal and with that I would like to wish all of you happiness and togetherness throughout Aidilfitri, celebrate it together with the sense of humility and unity.. Together we dictate our faith and love to Allah and His messenger; Muhammad PBUH.. Happy Aidilfitri once again to all my beloved brothers and sisters across the globe… Assalamualaikum

Malaysia is always be nation of my heart

In the conjunction of our National Day that will be celebrated very soon, there’s something that I would like to share with all the readers.

I do know my country isn’t there yet, to be called a modernised and fully developed country like Japan or Germany, but we are striving to achieve it.

I do know my country isn’t  that beautiful to be compared to Australia or Russia, but I always embrace the beauty that my country has

Yes, I do always consent that we got a long way to go, to fully unite the people who live in it.

But there’s thing that makes me so proud and grateful to be a Malaysian

It’s not about the places, or even about cultures or whatsoever

It’s about the people I’ve met

The people who I spend my life with

The journey that I take

The laughter that I have

The smiles that captured my heart

The hands that hold me until the end

This is the country where I learn

Who am I;

What I have to do in this life..

What is life really meant to me;

My very purpose of being alive…

I’ve walked this far with this little gut that I bring along

I wont be going this far without the privilege that is given to me by this humble nation

I don’t care how rich the Americans are

I don’t care how privilege being a Japanese

I don’t care how lavish living in the Europe

I don’t care about what other countries have

Cause in here, in this tiny humble land of Malaysia

I got everything that I ever wanted

People who care, Love that I embrace and Memories that captured my heart

This is Malaysia, a country like no others

Forever and always be the nation of my heart

Happy National Day to all Malaysians!

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful

1. Allah He who has the Godhood which is the power to create the entities. 

2. Ar-Rahmaan The Compassionate, The Beneficent, The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers and the blasphemers in this world and especially for the believers in the hereafter. 

3. Ar-Raheem The Merciful, The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers. 

4. Al-Malik The King, The Sovereign Lord, The One with the complete Dominion, the One Whose Dominion is clear from imperfection. 

5. Al-Quddoos The Holy, The One who is pure from any imperfection and clear from children and adversaries. 

6. As-Salaam The Source of Peace, The One who is free from every imperfection. 

7. Al-Mu’min Guardian of Faith, The One who witnessed for Himself that no one is God but Him. And He witnessed for His believers that they are truthful in their belief that no one is God but Him. 

8. Al-Muhaimin The Protector, The One who witnesses the saying and deeds of His creatures. 

9. Al-A’zeez The Mighty, The Strong, The Defeater who is not defeated. 

10. Al-Jabbaar The Compeller, The One that nothing happens in His Dominion except that which He willed. 

11. Al-Mutakabbir The Majestic, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures and from resembling them. 

12. Al-Khaaliq The Creator, The One who brings everything from non-existence to existence. 

13. Al-Bari’ The Evolver, The Maker, The Creator who has the Power to turn the entities. 

14. Al-Musawwir The Fashioner, The One who forms His creatures in different pictures. 

15. Al-Ghaffaar The Great Forgiver, The Forgiver, The One who forgives the sins of His slaves time and time again. 

16. Al-Qahhaar The Subduer, The Dominant, The One who has the perfect Power and is not unable over anything. 

17. Al-Wahhaab The Bestower, The One who is Generous in giving plenty without any return. He is everything that benefits whether Halal or Haram. 

18. Al-Razzaaq The Sustainer, The Provider. 

19. Al-Fattaah The Opener, The Reliever, The Judge, The One who opens for His slaves the closed worldy and religious matters. 

20. Al-A’leem The All-knowing, The Knowledgeable; The One nothing is absent from His knowledge. 

21. Al-Qaabid The Constricter, The Retainer, The Withholder, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy. 

22. Al-Baasit The Expander, The Englarger, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy. 

23. Al-Khaafid The Abaser, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment. 

24. Ar-Raafi’ The Exalter, The Elevator, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment. 

25. Al-Mu’iz The Honorer, He gives esteem to whoever He willed, hence there is no one to degrade Him; And He degrades whoever He willed, hence there is no one to give Him esteem. 

26. Al-Muthil The Dishonorer, The Humiliator, He gives esteem to whoever He willed, hence there is no one to degrade Him; And He degrades whoever He willed, hence there is no one to give Him esteem. 

27. As-Samee’ The All-Hearing, The Hearer, The One who Hears all things that are heard by His Eternal Hearing without an ear, instrument or organ. 

28. Al-Baseer The All-Seeing, The One who Sees all things that are seen by His Eternal Seeing without a pupil or any other instrument. 

29. Al-Hakam The Judge, He is the Ruler and His judgment is His Word. 

30. Al-A’dl The Just, The One who is entitled to do what He does. 

31. Al-Lateef The Subtle One, The Gracious, The One who is kind to His slaves and endows upon them. 

32. Al-Khabeer The Aware, The One who knows the truth of things. 

33. Al-Haleem The Forebearing, The Clement, The One who delays the punishment for those who deserve it and then He might forgive them. 

34. Al-A’zeem The Great One, The Mighty, The One deserving the attributes of Exaltment, Glory, Extolement,and Purity from all imperfection. 

35. Al-Ghafoor The All-Forgiving, The Forgiving, The One who forgives a lot. 

36. Ash-Shakoor The Grateful, The Appreciative, The One who gives a lot of reward for a little obedience.  

37. Al-A’liyy The Most High, The Sublime, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures. 

38. Al-Kabeer The Most Great, The Great, The One who is greater than everything in status. 

39. Al-Hafeez The Preserver, The Protector, The One who protects whatever and whoever He willed to protect. 

40. Al-Muqeet The Maintainer, The Guardian, The Feeder, The Sustainer, The One who has the Power. 

41. Al-Haseeb The Reckoner, The One who gives the satisfaction. 

42. Aj-Jaleel The Sublime One, The Beneficent, The One who is attributed with greatness of Power and Glory of status. 

43. Al-Kareem The Generous One, The Bountiful, The Gracious, The One who is attributed with greatness of Power and Glory of status. 

44. Ar-Raqeeb The Watcher, The Watchful, The One that nothing is absent from Him. 

45. Al-Mujeeb The Responsive, The Hearkener, The One who answers the one in need if he asks Him and rescues the yearner if he calls upon Him. 

46. Al-Wasi’  The Vast, The All-Embracing, The Knowledgeable. 

47. Al-Hakeem The Wise, The Judge of Judges, The One who is correct in His doings. 

48. Al-Wadood The Loving, The One who loves His believing slaves and His believing slaves love Him. His love to His slaves is His Will to be merciful to them and praise them 

49. Al-Majeed The Most Glorious One, The Glorious, The One who is with perfect Power, High Status, Compassion, Generosity and Kindness. 

50. Al-Bai’th The Reserrector, The Raiser (from death), The One who resurrects His slaves after death for reward and/or punishment. 

51. Ash-Shaheed The Witness, The One who nothing is absent from Him. 

52. Al-Haqq The Truth, The True, The One who truly exists. 

53. Al-Wakeel The Trustee, The One who gives the satisfaction and is relied upon. 

54. Al-Qawiyy The Most Strong, The Strong, The One with the complete Power. 

55. Al-Mateen The Firm One, The One with extreme Power which is un-interrupted and He does not get tired. 

56. Al-Waliyy The Protecting Friend, The Supporter. 

57. Al-Hameed The Praiseworthy, The praised One who deserves to be praised. 

58. Al-Muhsee The Counter, The Reckoner, The One who the count of things are known to him. 

59. Al-Mubdi’ The Originator, The One who started the human being. That is, He created him. 

60. Al-Mu’eed The Reproducer, The One who brings back the creatures after death. 

61. Al-Muhyi The Restorer, The Giver of Life, The One who took out a living human from semen that does not have a soul. He gives life by giving the souls back to the worn out bodies on the resurrection day and He makes the hearts alive by the light of knowledge. 

62. Al-Mumeet The Creator of Death, The Destroyer, The One who renders the living dead. 

63. Al-Hayy The Alive, The One attributed with a life that is unlike our life and is not that of a combination of soul, flesh or blood. 

64. Al-Qayyoom The Self-Subsisting, The One who remains and does not end. 

65. Al-Waajid The Perceiver, The Finder, The Rich who is never poor. 

66. Al-Waahid The Unique, The One without a partner. 

67. Al-Ahad The One. 

68. As-Samad The Eternal, The Independent, The Master who is relied upon in matters and reverted to in ones needs. 

69. Al-Qaadir The Able, The Capable, The One attributed with Power. 

70. Al-Muqtadir The Powerful, The Dominant, The One with the perfect Power that nothing is withheld from Him. 

71. Al-Muqaddim The Expediter, The Promoter, The One who puts things in their right places. He makes ahead what He wills and delays what He wills. 

72. Al-Mu’akh-khir The Delayer, the Retarder, The One who puts things in their right places. He makes ahead what He wills and delays what He wills. 

73. Al-‘Awwal The First, The One whose Existence is without a beginning. 

74. Al-‘Akhir The Last, The One whose Existence is without an end. 

75. Az-Zaahir The Manifest, The One that nothing is above Him and nothing is underneath Him, hence He exists without a place. He, The Exalted, His Existence is obvious by proofs and He is clear from the delusions of attributes of bodies. 

76. Al-Baatin The Hidden, The One that nothing is above Him and nothing is underneath Him, hence He exists without a place. He, The Exalted, His Existence is obvious by proofs and He is clear from the delusions of attributes of bodies. 

77. Al-Walee The Governor, The One who owns things and manages them. 

78. Al-Mutaa’li The Most Exalted, The High Exalted, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creation. 

79. Al-Barr The Source of All Goodness, The Righteous, The One who is kind to His creatures, who covered them with His sustenance and specified whoever He willed among them by His support, protection, and special mercy. 

80. At-Tawwaab The Acceptor of Repentance, The Relenting, The One who grants repentance to whoever He willed among His creatures and accepts his repentance. 

81. Al-Muntaqim The Avenger, The One who victoriously prevails over His enemies and punishes them for their sins. It may mean the One who destroys them. 

82. Al-A’fuww The Pardoner, The Forgiver, The One with wide forgiveness. 

83. Ar-Ra’uf The Compassionate, The One with extreme Mercy. The Mercy of Allah is His will to endow upon whoever He willed among His creatures. 

84. Malik Al-Mulk The Eternal Owner of Sovereignty, The One who controls the Dominion and gives dominion to whoever He willed. 

85. Thul-Jalali wal-Ikram The Lord of Majesty and Bounty, The One who deserves to be Exalted and not denied. 

86. Al-Muqsit The Equitable, The One who is Just in His judgment. 

87. Aj-Jaami’ The Gatherer, The One who gathers the creatures on a day that there is no doubt about, that is the Day of Judgement. 

88. Al-Ghaniyy The Self-Sufficient, The One who does not need the creation. 

89. Al-Mughni The Enricher, The One who satisfies the necessities of the creatures. 

90. Al-Maani^ The Preventer, The Withholder. 

91. Ad-Daarr The Distresser, The One who makes harm reach to whoever He willed and benefit to whoever He willed. 

92. An-Nafi^ The Propitious, The One who makes harm reach to whoever He willed and benefit to whoever He willed. 

93. An-Noor The Light, The One who guides. 

94. Al-Haadi The Guide, The One whom with His Guidance His believers were guided, and with His Guidance the living beings have been guided to what is beneficial for them and protected from what is harmful to them. 

95. Al-Badi’ The Incomparable, The One who created the creation and formed it without any preceding example. 

96. Al-Baaqi The Everlasting, The One that the state of non-existence is impossible for Him. 

97. Al-Waarith The Supreme Inheritor, The Heir, The One whose Existence remains. 

98. Ar-Rasheed The Guide to the Right Path, The One who guides. 

99. As-Saboor The Patient, The One who does not quickly punish the sinners. “…There is nothing whatever like unto Him, and He is the One that hears and sees (all things).

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