Medical Students Dilemma

Its been a while since I wrote something here but apparently the viewers are building up, so its a good indicator perhaps. So, Ive been up to writing a post as some sort of motivation to me and to the rest of my colleagues in the Med School. So far, Ive realized that most of us didn’t choose medicine as our first choice as most us do this as an obligation to our parents. Yeah of course, which parents dont want to have a child taking medicine isnt it?. Im no different with all of you. I’m at first eagerly wanted to pursue my dream to be a Pharmacist, but my mother wanted me to be a Doctor. So, Im here in the Med School, and its been a long  journey since then.

I’m not a good role model or anything, cause I acknowledge the fact that most of you are way much better than I am, but it doesn’t mean that I couldnt share my thought isnt it? So, this is how I get through Medicine and Alhamdulillah Ive received good results in exam out of it. These are the ways that Ive been using to control the ‘burdens’ (if you may say) of being a medical student.

1. Take everything as an opportunity not as a burden
• If you choose Medicine only because to fulfill an obligation to your parents like I do, then consider this. Imagine a half emptied water bottle. If I show you the bottle and ask you to describe what you see, guess what will be the answer? You will definitely say, a bottle with water. Dont you? Why wont you say a bottle with air? Cause there is still air in it isnt it? Simple, cause it is a water bottle, water is the one that makes the bottle as a WATER bottle, isnt it? So, water is the main thing here, not air. So, if you decide to see AIR instead of WATER, you will get nothing more than just an AIR, dont you? Same goes to life, if you block your heart to see what good things that you will be receiving being a medical student in the future, you will only gain nothing more than just BURDENS, STRESS, PRESSURE, DISAPPOINTMENT AND DESPAIR. Would you like to have all that? Its your decision BUT if you choose to open your heart to see countless opportunities ahead of you, you will surely be feeling contented with who you are now and work hard to be a good – no no, not a good but an excellent Doctor. Don’t take the obligation as a burden, but take it as a challenge for you to pass through. In no time, you will be an excellent Medical student and future Doctor.
2. Less hatred means less stress and disappointment
• Humans are created to be unique and one of a kind. You wont find an exact individual living in two separate bodies; it wont happen. So, everyone is made to be the way they are, and we just have to accept the differences between us and appreciate people the way they are. There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. They aren’t just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them. So, instead of back stabbing and putting slanders on people, take a person as a whole. Like Japanese always said “Treat a person like you’re treating yourself, be fair”. Plus the fact that, when people treat you badly, repay them with good deeds. Rasullullah PBUH never taught his followers to seek for a vengeance, he taught us to be good to people regardless whether they are friends or your enemies. Do you know why? Hatred brings you to no where, but good deeds last forever. If you channel your hatred towards good deeds and love, you wont be feeling stress at all. Regardless how bad people treat you, never refuse to help them when they need you. This is what Princess Diana once said “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you”. So, if you have less hatred, you wont be feeling stress and InsyaAllah you will be happy and contented especially being a Medical student.
3. Have an aim, set it and work for it
• I know we are here for various kind of reasons but what you are going to do after this? Have you set an aim, a vision or mission for you to fulfill after MBBS? If you don’t have an aim, believe me, you will be working aimlessly in the Med School. If you have an aim, its like you have set a destination for you to reach, so if you have your destination; the only thing left to be done is to find the best route for you to reach that particular destination. Have an aim, then it wont be hard for you to get through 5 years in Medicine.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. So, be grateful for who you are, appreciate yourself and others, and work hard to achieve what you want. InsyaAllah everything will be fine and success will lead along your way. Good luck =)

A water bottle - What do you see inside it?

 

If Only My Life Ends Tomorrow

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to make my memories become a diamond
So precious, that others may adore the glitters in it for eternity

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to collect every single photos of me with family and friends
So that the imperative moments remain timelessly

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to grab the first toy i ever had,
So that i can remember my first experience of fun and joy

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to read my first book that i read,
So that i can always appreciate the value of reading and understanding

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to meet every single friends that i loved and adored
So that i can tell them, how grateful i am to have you as my friend

If only my life ends tomorrow
I would like to write a letter to my mom,
To tell her that nothing is more valuable than her unconditional pure love

If only my life ends tomorrow
I would smile to every sinlge people that i meet
To show how grateful i am, that i can stay alive, and enjoy the moments

If only my life ends tomorrow
I will say thank you to my first love
As she brought me the meaning of being loved and giving love

If only my life ends tomorrow
I give every single help that i can possibly give
So you will always remember me as a ” man who always gives”

If only my life ends tomorrow
I will shed my joyful tears
As this tormenting and excruciating pain has finally ended

If only my life ends tomorrow
I hope to get my first Holy Quran that i comphrehended
So that the piety and belief in me will bring me to a better place

If only my life ends here
i would say
i appreciate every moments that i have
a life that brought me to all of you..

My love =)

Tomorrow, she will turn 49. It has been along time then. For me, she is my everything; my life, my love and my inspiration.
She was born on February 17th, 1969 at her home in Kuala Pilah.

She was born with cleft lips (sumbing in Malay), and she doesn’t have soft palate in her mouth. She has found its hard to chew on something since she doesn’t have soft palate (lelangit in Malay). She might born that way, but she is beautiful, perhaps the prettiest woman on this planet-at least for me.

She is a quick learner, very quick perhaps. She loves English, and to tell the truth I was ahead from children of my age in English because of her teaching. Most of the times, we converse in english.

She has been my inspiration eversince I was a kid; for something good, really good. She taught me not to give up with hope. I have a beautiful story about her that I feel like sharing it to you people. It was dated long ago, during her form 5. At that time, she was doing so good in class, she worked so hard with hope that one day she can enter university-change her fate ultimately. She came from a very poor family, having only salted fish as her daily foods. She even couldn’t afford to have her own pencil. She used what then? She used charcoal as her pencil.

With all the hardness and barriers she had been through, luck wasn’t there yet. She has failed her SPM because she failed her Malay languange paper. That is the hard part of taking SPM, you fail Malay, other papers are seemed useless. At that moment, everyone turned their back to her, even her best friend and family. My late grandmother asked her to get married, but she strongly refused.

She didn’t let people taking control on her life, cause she was on control. She took a worn out paper (I still have that paper even until now) and she wrote something on it

Aku akan berjaya suatu hari nanti

She pasted that paper in her pencil box which was made from a talcum box. She worked extremely hard, she even studied until 3am everyday with humble lantern by her side. Good things come with prize isn’t it? When STPM result was out, she received the highest score of 4A in the school, and even in the whole state of Negeri Sembilan. Her name was carved nicely at her school, so that everyone can remember her.

She has been a very great friend, tutor, and of course a great mother. She has inspired me in many ways. Her smile is like a remedy to me. Owh, not to forget, my mother doesn’t know how to use a handphone. She only knows how to make a call. Plus, she memorizes every single phone numbers. Like hundreds I think. She really wants me to become a doctor, and Mom, I want you to know this, I wont let you down! I will never ever let you down! Promise.

Happy birthday mom. You are the place where my life begins and it will be where it ends. You always have me right by your side.
Love you =)

When everything turns bad

Have you ever felt disappointed with yourself?
Have you ever screamed deep down to your throat but no one seems to care?
Have you ever felt devastated when everything that you’ve worked for ends up worthless?
Have you ever asked yourself “Who am I?”
Perhaps that is the one billion dollar question that you should have been asking yourself then. The thing is, you are not here for nothing – that’s for sure, so why we are here? We can’t tell the exact answer to that question since it is too subjective.
But for me, I shall simply put it in a single simple sentence “I just want to feel I exist for someone”. Maybe, that’s my greatest dream in life – I will fight myself through it. I have read this wonderful quote “Today I’m nobody, but I’m certain that one day I will be somebody”. It would relieve myself everytime those words pass through my head.
I have something in mind that I would like to share with you people – no matter how hard things drop upon you, you just have to remember the fact you would have not been tested by God if He knows you couldn’t get through it. Every single thing that we ever dream for is within our reach, but most of the times we close our eyes to see the exact route and eventually we fall upon the very thing that we are looking for, without even looking for it.
Every deeds will surely pay off =)

Just forget about them

Forgive and Forget

To be honest, I have a complete list of people who I despise. Too many people out there – people I’ve met, I can tell 80% of them are useless, meaningless, hypocrite or any words that you may think appropriate.

Just bear that trust is like a glass, it is hard to mold but rather fragile. In a split of a second you might realize you have shatter the trust that you have built for so long without even knowing about it. I’ve been facing lots of things since then, along the way, I’ve learned an important lesson – never trust on people.

I might have gone overboard, but maybe that’s the safest route I can think off since too many people out there are just simply bullshits. There’s one thing for sure which I think will be a good reminder for all of us – You don’t have to please all people, cause you might end up wondering “what you have got in a return?”. 98% of people surround you are taking advantage over you, and they will dump you off once you seem useless to them.

So, I’ve been wondering “why should I embrace moments I have with them when they don’t even seem to care about it?. You don’t have to pretend everything is just fine cause it never will. Stop pretending and start realizing the fact that at the end – we have to forget and move forward, appreciate those who accept us the way we are. We are human after all, none of us come near to perfection =)

We forgive and we forget

I feel so lucky

 

They are my family – We have been together since then, and for as long as times allow. We faced all hardships and laughter together. We fight our way through medicine in the hope of becoming a good doctor

My roommates – Awe, Din, Fared.. They are more than just friends.. We are siblings.. They really have perfected my life being a medical student

Maybe I’m not that lucky to be compared to anyone else but still, I feel lucky to myself and I am

Diploma in Pharmacy - times when all great things happened. Where everything seems to be so amazing

grateful to that.

I’m not born to be a genius like most of my friends, but I have guts in pursuing my dreams.

I’m not born to be that smart, but I have reached a certain level of curiosity which makes me never bored learning new things.

Apart from that, for so long I have realized that my life is not that beautiful or amazing or anything that you may put it, but still, I do realize most of the times, most of the times when I feel sad, God always sends me someone for me to rely on. I just don’t know how much friends have perfected my life.

I have lost so many things in life, I’ve lost something important that most of us couldn’t live without, but then again, I never walk alone.

For that reason, I always feel so lucky to be the way I am now =)

Kiasu

Kiasu-Fear of Losing

Have you come across with this word?

Ok, this is the word that I would like to use when people asks me “How would you describe medical students?”

What is “Kiasu” after all?

It came from a Chinese word which literally means “Fear of Losing”

It is some kind of manifestation of people who loves to compete for the best. It can be either a good or a bad competition.

So, which wing are you now? Are you channeling your Kiasu attitude in a good way?

Decide it yourself

Ok, let us get back to the first part where we start – How would I describe medical students?

Most of the times, this description portrays all medical students, not to be excluded my own self.

So, this is pretty much of it

When we saw our colleagues reading books while we are resting (facebooking, chatting, or anything you may name it), we feel “insulted“. We stop doing all those things in an instant, grab our books and start reading

When we heard our friends discussing about something that we don’t really understand, we started to feel worry and in an instant we grab our books and start to search for answers

When someone who is literally better than us explains things, we start to argue, searching for mistakes he/she might mistakenly do.

When  it comes to result, regardless finals or tests, that’s the best time when KIASU is well-reflected among medical students. When we score, we feel so liberated, like we have done our very best to achieve it. But when we didn’t get what we’ve expected for, we tend to compare ourselves to others who are much better than us (by hard).

Some students even love to be superior in everything that they do. They don’t give chances to other to express what they think and what they feel. Sometimes, it is quite irritating.

Study group. It is very much hated when we have a well-organised study group. Some, couldn’t even accept it. Some, even dare to ruin the group. It sounds weird, but believe me, its true.

So, I don’t post this for nothing and I don’t post this to judge people. It’s a reminder for me and for the rest of medical students out there – it is good to have “Kiasu“, but make sure you channel it in a good way. Be competitive doesn’t mean you have to ruin others, be wise, be matured in deciding what is good and what is bad. We are future doctors after all, we don’t want us to end up killing our patients just because quarreling over drugs and treatments.

Burdens – What if I couldn’t get through them?

What if everything turns out ugly?

It has been a while since the last time I really put my effort in writing an article in my blog. Actually, times are just too packed since I’ve entered the Medical School.

I love to write – that is for sure. Since I really don’t know how to express my feeling through conversation, so words are the best way for me to put everything in.

I’ve been enjoying every second in every day of life being a full-time medical student. Since childhood I’ve been looking for my purpose of being a human being – more or less. After so long I’ve been discovering my place in this world, only now I’ve found it among doctors. It’s not that easy to search reasons for being alive; cause I’m certain with the fact that most people I’ve met, they don’t even know who they are.

So, after half a year being a medical student (not a long time perhaps), only now I know, how much things I have to handle starting from now on. It is so elevating being a medical student; I’ve learnt from friends I’ve met, Doctors who inspired me, knowledges that captivate me yeah pretty much all of them

But, sometimes there’s thing come out off my mind thinking that these humble hands will be the hands that will be saving lives (under Allah will).

What if my patient dies because of me?

What if I didn’t give my best in saving lives?

What if I miss my chance to save lives?

What if I break hearts of their love ones?

What if I fail in giving people new hopes like I promised to?

What if everything turns out ugly; I couldn’t even forgive myself

We learn from mistakes, and we take blame on that and try to change for the better

But this is about life

It’s not about being failed in the exam

Nor doing bad to friends

It is about LIFE.. more than anything else

I just don’t know how much things will drop upon me

The only thing I could hope for is that my shoulder is strong enough to bear burdens that I will be facing during my entire career of being a Doctor one day

May guidance from Him leads my way

2010 = more than just a “year”

I couldn’t believe myself, we have come to an end of 2010. To be truthful, I don’t know what I feel or what I supposed to feel right now; some kind of mixed up feelings perhaps. I am happy knowing that my tremendous years in the Med School is getting yeah more or less “shorter” for god sake, but then again I do feel sad to leave the moments I left behind in this year 2010.

It has been a great year for me, that is for sure. I’ve managed to end my loooooong, tiring, but yeah I could say it to be informative, enjoyable and one in a life time (that’s not the word; I know that lol) practical session at Tuanku Ja’afar Hospital, Seremban. It has been quite a while since the last day I walked out that creepy haunted hospital lol. I have met wonderful friends there, great pharmacist, great working hours not to mention how hectic life was at the Out Patient Department lol.  Life was great back then.

Not to forget how much I have put my effort in doing my final year research on chemotherapeutic agent; Epirubicin and Doxorubicin for breast cancer patient. It was so intense but yeah I worth every time I did the research cause every second of every day in my life, it will remind me how precious life is. I did my best, yeah to get an A for the research, and Alhamdulillah. I hope I have done something good to the Pharmaceutical Society here within Malaysia.

A DREAM COMES TRUE!! That’s the best words I could describe on how much I feel honored to be given a chance to pursue my dream (and obviously my mother’s dream) of becoming a doctor. I couldn’t believe myself I’ve been accepted to be one of UiTM medical students. Getting myself into MBBS is like everything to me back then. Now I have stepped myself a little further, and one day, with every hope and every dreams that I hold now,  could be a great Oncologist in the future.

I have met wonderful people, they are not just merely friends to me, they are my siblings. Even if they are not medical students, but to a farther extent they have perfected my life, cheer me up when the world seems so hard on me. I am glad to have them as my friends though. Awe, Farid and Din, terima kasih jadi kawan aku yang baik k (Aku tahu korang tak suka baca English2 ni, so aku tulis BM part ni =P) As time passes by, our friendship will never die~

Medical Life =____=”. kidding hahah I’ve been enjoying every single moment of it, yeah I love doing what I’m best with; reading books, lots of books. “Once you’ve entered into the medical school until the end of your life, you have instantly sacrificing your life for the sake of othes well being” quoted from Dr Abdul Onny. Yeah, that is true. Enter the class from 8am to 5pm, tests, labs, books, lectures, discussions, quizzes, you name it. But then again, by far, I never felt burden in doing it, like it has already been part of my life.

Convo!! I have finally been awarded with Vice Chancellery Award (Anugerah Naib Cancellor) for my performance in Diploma of Pharmacy. Alhamdulillah, I’ve got my chance seeing friends that I miss so much. 3 years of struggles finally I received my scroll.

Now it has come to an end. I know life is getting harder at front, challenges and hardships are the best part of all. I just don’t know what awaits me at the front, but yeah, we are born not to be a fortune teller or something, we are normal human beings; we fight, we live and we appreciate every moments we have now. We do our best, with the hope that every day, we push ourselves towards a better future. I do looking forward to have a year full with happiness and togetherness, looking forward to see my mom to become healthy like she used to be. What I hope is just, I will gain myself more meaning, so that I could define myself and my life, I could adjust myself and nurture my heart to be not just merely a doctor-to-be human being, but to be humane, to be obedient learner, to be a wonderful friend and yeah of cause to be a good son. With that, thank you for reading my blog =) Happy New Year guys!! May a year full with prosperity, success and love awaits all of you. Assalamualaikum

Life is great after all

To My Mother

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above, The angels, whispering to one another, Can find, among their burning terms of love, None so devotional as that of “Mother,”

Therefore by that dear name I long have called you—

You who are more than mother unto me,

And fill my heart of hearts, where hurtful life installed with you,

In setting my fragile spirit free.

My mother—my own mother, who faced thousands obstacles in life,

Is but the mother of myself; but you

Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,

And thus are dearer than the life I see now

by that infinity love you have given me

Is so dear that it captures my heart until the very end of time

My everything